The unbearable Lightness of Being

I remember reading a novel in college "Unbearable Lightness of Being" where the author challenged the concept of "eternal recurrence" by arguing that each person has only one life to live, and that which occurs in that life, occurs only once and shall never occur again.

I felt I am living that once in a life time life. The past two months have been full of parenting - learn to be a new mom and learn to live with my parents after 20 years being away from them. Yesterday marked the day of my parents departure back to China, they have done SO much for us, Dan described their daily routine as "constantly productive". Dad would get up around 6am every day, stretch in our backyard, write his diary, cook me the sweet rice breakfast at 7am, mom feeds Ellie at the same time to give me a break from coming off the night shift. They will then go on a 3 mile hike with my mom. When they come back around 9am, typically it is lunch preparation, washing long string beans, steaming buns, thaw out the lunch meat...dad would make me a mid morning snack at 10:30. Lunch is always balanced with protein, fat, fiber and hydrate, all of which are critical for milk production. Mom typically takes care of Ellie in the afternoon and gives me all the time in the world to nap, Dad would work around the house, he noticed many things we have never noticed before including which plant has red ant infection and needs to be taken care of. Dad would make light dinner that's healthy, he attributes the fact that folks in the US are more likely overweight to the habit of eating heavy dinners.

I don't know if I can ever be the kind of parents as mom and dad, it is as if they pure the last drop of their heart out for the sake of their children. With Ellie, the daily grinding goes on, Dan and I are figuring out the rhythm that would work for us, details such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, feeding, all become so important that we needed to plan out.

This is once in a life time experience, I can't say I am fully prepared, no matter how much I told myself during pregnancy that I was. Building the confidence takes time and practice, I trust I will grow with Ellie along the way and live the unbearable lightness of being.